Culture

Honest Notes From Kids Guaranteed to Make You Laugh

By Robin Mei - February 19, 2018

Sorry for the Face Kick, Sarah

It seems that no one makes friends easier than kids. It usually only takes a simple greeting at the playground and they’ll already be the best of friends who want to play together for the rest of the day.

Nevertheless, some children’s friendships start less conventionally. The kid who wrote this letter about their new friend, Sarah, said that they “kicked her in the face” first and then (at least) apologized. Wonder what Sarah said to that?

Source: 40 Hilariously Honest Notes From Kids

Where's My Cash, Tooth Fairy?

Kids are much more resourceful and creative in solving their own problems than we give them credit for, especially when it comes to financial matters.

When a young girl name Annisa needed an extra buck, she wrote a letter to a tooth fairly just to remind her that she already lost a tooth which wasn’t fairly compensated. Then she explained how she lost another one and carefully calculated how much money was owed to her.

The Bitter Truth

Sometimes kids have an uncanny ability to assess their parent’s relationship status. Plus, they don’t have a problem verbalizing what they see.

When a kid, whose parents are clearly separated, went to stay over with the dad for a weekend with her brother Isaac, she wrote him a letter just to let him know how happy they were to spend some time with him. And remind him that mom doesn’t like him anymore.

Next Time, Send a Dog

If you think that young children love getting a newborn brother or a sister, you might be surprised by this letter.

When Joyce got her baby brother she was naturally very happy about it, so she decided to write a letter to God thanking him for the bundle of joy he sent to her and the family. But, she also took the opportunity to remind the person upstairs it was actually a puppy she was praying for.

The Guilt Letter

First off, marks to this youngster for taking the time to give mom and dad the heads up on not needing dinner. We’re sure the effort was appreciated by the parental units involved.

Note the scratching out of the ‘love’ sign off and its replacement, “From the saddest person in the world.” A play tactic on the part of a kid who didn’t appreciate too many veggies at their last meal? Guess we’ll never know…

I'm Sorry.... Not

Feelings can be so complicated sometimes, especially when we’re being told how or what to feel. Even if we try to follow the advice, it often doesn’t really work that way.

Liam was told by his teacher to apologize to his schoolmate Brody, so he wrote him a note to say that he was sorry. He even tried really hard to feel sorry, but once he realized he wasn’t, the only thing he could do was be honest about it.

Clean This, Mom

We all tend to believe that a child’s love is forever pure and unconditional, but is it really? Do kids always love their parents, no matter what? According to this note, they don’t.

A kid, apparently sick and tired of having to clean their room over and over again, wrote their mom this straight to the point note with a warning. If she keeps pressuring him to clean up, he will simply stop loving her.

Dear Family: You Stink

It’s something that everyone does, yet no one really feels comfortable when a little bit of wind gets passed, not even when it happens among the family members. So, when someone did it in this kid’s family, they blamed it on them.

The kid knew they were being wrongly accused and tried to stand for up for themselves, but as no one believed him, they decided the next logical step was to leave their farting family.

Happy Valentine's Day

There’s hardly anything sweeter and more heartwarming than thank you notes from children. No matter what they thank you for, it always feels so wonderful to get one. Just take a look at this clumsily written heart-shaped letter a little boy named Brendan made for his mom.

He feels very grateful that his mom makes him food every day and keeps him alive. When something so lovely and sincere comes from a kid, even the word “die” doesn’t sound too harsh.

Buckets of Tears

A broken heart and not one, but two, full buckets of tears at the end of a letter should be more than enough for (almost) any wish to be granted, or at least the kid who wrote this letter believed so. We don’t know if it worked, but it was worth a try.

Even though they love their parents, they love their hair too. And, if their parents love them, they will not dare to take away their hair away.

Don't Touch

Oh, to see the people behind the words in this letter and witness firsthand what brought these comments about in the first place. We can tell that Eric can be a little greedy and will probably take all he can. Mom’s issue, however, might run a little deeper than that.

In the eyes of this youngster, his mother’s caboose might be a little too large. As we all know, kids can be harsh critics so take that assessment with a grain of salt.

Scoop Your Poop

Stumbling upon dog poop while happily playing in your own backyard is not exactly a thrill for any kid, especially if the “packages” keep springing up like mushrooms after a good rain, again and again.

So this kid, whose neighbor’s dog obviously loved to use his yard as a loo, had enough of it and decided to return the “favor.” Since he didn’t have a dog, he had to do all the hard work himself.

The Bow Wow Boy

Some kids want to be teachers and help other children learn about the world. Others dream of becoming doctors so they can nurse those in need. There are kids who want to be builders or architects and make this world a nicer place, but not this kid — he wants to be a dog.

It’s tough to guess why this little fellow doesn’t share the same dreams like most of his peers, but he gets a thumbs up for being different.

The Love Note

For all doubting Thomas who claim that the time of romance is long gone, here’s the proof that dating apps haven’t (entirely) destroyed the magic of love and old-school courtship. At least not for kids who aren’t addicted to a cell phone yet.

This is a handwritten letter from a boy who fell in love with a girl in his class, along with her answer. Maybe this love note isn’t exactly the one Mr. Darcy would have signed, but it is still a lovely and honest one.

Suck It Up

If you really want to know how things go in a family, all you need to do is aks the children. They will give you the most honest answer there is, regardless of what mom or dad might have to say on the matter.

This particular kid was given the assignment to name and describe some positive ways how their family deals with stress, and simply wrote ‘suck it up’ as their answer. Sounds familiar to anyone else out there?

Cloudy With a Chance of Tacos

If you are one of those people who were a bit confused with the whole concept of the “Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs” movie, this note might help you get the hint how they came up with the idea — someone’s kid thought of it first.

Look what this child wrote on their coloring book with an image of a magic teapot. Their one wish is… to have tacos falling from the sky like rain!

Frankie the Freeloader

It seems some kids are just born with that amazing entrepreneurial drive that makes them resourceful and independent. If they really want something, they will find a way to get it. Some kids will bake cookies or make lemonade and sell it around the neighborhood, while others will offer extra help to their parents for a buck or two.

Still, not all children are the same. According to this school paper, some will rather do nothing and just live with the consequences.

Don't Call It In, Dad

Every father and son day should be an extraordinary one. The guys should have a couple of hours on their own to go on an adventure together or build something all by themselves, like a tree house or a backyard camp.

But if you don’t know how to make it unique and unforgettable, or you’re just too lazy to make an effort, you better not promise your son that special day, or you might end up with a letter like this one.

The Holiday Reality Check

A Christmas card with lots of sweet wishes along with a dash of reality in it is something we all need from time to time. Sometimes you need a little sour to go with all the sweet of the season.

This is just one of many amazing examples of how kids see us, so if you get a card like this one don’t feel uncomfortable or upset. Who knows — maybe this kid is pushing their mom towards a New Years Resolution she might want to consider.

The Warning

Isn’t it lovely to have a daughter who takes the time to write down a very detailed letter of intent while she’s planning to run away and makes sure you get it before she leaves home? We bet every parent would love a kid like this one.

This sweet girl named Emily didn’t want her mom to worry too much, so she made a clear and concise note to warn her parents in advance about her plans.

P.S. I'm a Little Miffed

If your child is mad at you, no matter how ridiculous the , keeping your head cool is the right way to go. Getting mad right back at them will only make things worse.

Instead of feeling bad about it, you may want to try and ask your kid to write you a letter, and this may be what you’ll get back: lots of love and two days of (potential) silence. Not too bad, isn’t it?

Do It — Or Else

An adorable Christmas tradition for many is the writing of letters to Santa by children to let him know exactly what they want for Christmas (and, if for no other reason,tt so that parents know what they need to buy).

Not all of the kids’ letters are sunshine and rainbows. Some tend to sound more like a warning than a polite request, to say the least. Particularly unsettling are the ones signed with “or there will be consequences.”

A Simple Solution?

One of the reasons why kids don’t often use metaphors is because they don’t mind speaking the truth about things as they see it. When something is blue there’s no reason to say it’s the color of the sky, right?

Having that in mind, choosing the right time to teach kids more complex things about the world is crucial, or they might see the story of Cain and Abel just like Larry here. Wise words, Larry.

Never Admit When You're Wrong

Do you know someone who won’t ever admit when they’re wrong? From what we can see here, kids might also know someone like that starting at a very early age. For the guilty party to be able to write it out is just additional proof.

Perhaps the young person responsible for this note is innocent of whatever it is they are being asked to apologize for or admit to. We’ll have to wait for the parental rebuttal to find out.

You're Good, But I've Had Better

Fan letters are always fun, and they don’t have to be reserved for people in the public spotlight — it’s not just athletes, celebrities and social media stars that deserve some recognition.

One step below the fan letter is the “you’re okay” letter. It lets you know your efforts have been acknowledged and duly noted, but that as far as the big picture is looking there’s a least one other person ahead of you that is doing things just a little bit better.

Sometimes Is Better Than Never

Being a mom is a tough job. You’re expected to provide encouragement, guidance, patience and understanding. Mixed in with that there’s that pesky discipline and life lessons thing to take of as well, and that’s where some kids like to draw the line when it comes to returning the love mom naturally feels for them.

The upside to this note is that the exclamation points change the tone to something that isn’t all doom and gloom.

Stick 'Em Up

There’s no better feeling than when you know that a gift you’re worked hard to pick out is going to actually be used by the person you’re getting it for. Especially when it comes to kids since they can be impossible to buy for.

If you decide to hand over a water gun to a minor, know in advance that you are also presenting yourself as a first target. You’re the human equivalent of the five bucks someone sticks into a birthday card.

Have a Great Day!

If there’s a downside to a child being able to read and write, it’s that they no longer need to rely on vocalizing just how ticked off they are at you. No, once that barrier is broken words can become a little more permanent.

Obviously Julian was a little perturbed over something at the moment of finding this letter, despite mom’s calming words. She means well, but unfortunately her son must be having one of those days.

Stop Being Regular, Mom

Poor mom — she’s having to play second fiddle to dad for the sole reason that she does all that boring stuff moms have to do. You know, like keeping the household running smoothly while hubby steals the spotlight for ‘not having a regular job.’

At least he has a job, although from what we can tell he might have some irregular hours. That might be a plus for elevating him to cool dad status, but a complete negative for ‘regular’ mom.

What Did You Call Your Dad?

We’d ask for more details about what else this kid’s dad is the best at, but to be honest we’re afraid of what the answer might be.

But for the record, we’re told that this youngster’s dad’s name is Richard, but everyone likes to call him Dick. As far as what his personality is like, we can’t say for sure. Just let the man do his barbeque thing with his goofy monogrammed phallic chef’s hat and don’t stand too close to him.

Mom is Better Than Cow

What a lovely poem, and the sentiment behind it is adorable. What mother wouldn’t feel every one of her heartstrings being tugged while reading this after it being handed to her?

As for the last line, well, there’s probably a lot of truth in it. And who knows — maybe there is a very special cow in this kid’s life that means the world to them, and with this declaration they’ve absolutely made their mother’s week by ranking her ahead of it.

What Do You Really Think?

Some kids might not have a clue what the phrase ‘call a spade a spade’ means, but they sure know how to do it. Being able to use a sticky note in the process just adds to the whole situation.

At least this kid was being honest, and the only feelings hurt were those of whoever might have packed the lunch containing this juice. Beauty is in the tastebuds of the beholder, so don’t cast judgment on this particular product just yet.

The Morning Taunt

Young Catherine is pretty bold for someone who might have a price on their head. Never rub failure in the face of those who came up short in the carrying out of their task — it only makes them want to try harder.

We suspect Catherine might be a tough cookie to outsmart. She might not be able to spell failed correctly, but she was spot-on when it comes to grammar and the spelling of assassins.

Security?

And here we have the first piece of evidence that will be presented by the defense counsel during the sentencing portion of their trial for this future criminal in the making.

Perhaps the assumption should not be made that a decapitated stick figure with a threatening message scrawled above its frowning face means the only path available for this youngster is a dark one, but couldn’t they have at least included a flower in there or a smiley face Sun?

Math Is the Answer

In this digital age where we all have calculators masquerading as telephones in our pockets, it can be expected to see more answers like this in the future. Technically, it’s not incorrect.

There’s always a bright side to look at, so consider this at least: the right answer was given on the numbers side of things, and the child in question also knows how to spell math — even if they can’t explain how they put it to use.

Be Nice to Animals

Now here’s someone we know will take care of a hamster if they ever have the opportunity sent their way. Not only that, they’ll speak their mind if they happen across anyone who isn’t treating an animal with respect.

An argument can be made that this type of word choice should never have been presented in the first place, unless this test is also doubling as a psychological evaluation of some sort?

Mom Loves Wine

For those who haven’t already figured this out, kids don’t have filters. If they see it, they will say it. Sometimes it’s a rather innocent observation, other times it’s something a little more serious.

Now, we’re not insinuating that this particular child’s mother is an alcoholic — that’s just not fair. But she does have a glass of wine in front of her that is almost the same size she is, and that’s cause for some concern.

Leave the Goat Out of This

When you want to put together a recipe for awkward outcomes, this scenario pretty much has everything you could ask for. The less clever kid would have gone with ‘my pen is in a goat,’ but the author here gets an A+ for creative writing.

What their teacher had to say about this when it was handed in is uncertain, but the fact that this student could take ‘is’ and ‘pen’ and connect the dots they did is impressive.

 

Brooke Really, REALLY Loves Her Mom

It’s great to see a mother and daughter bond so strong that nothing can stop them from being together. This includes the highly unlikely scenario that the Universe is suddenly upended and mom gets switched out for another person, who in turn is in for a very rude awakening from Brooke.

At least this mother can sleep at night knowing that her daughter won’t hesitate to act as her own personal security guard…